The Power of Connection: How attachment parenting can foster connection between parent and child.

Written by Daniela Dusanovic | Psychologist 

Attachment parenting is a child-focused parenting style that aims to create a strong connection between parent and child. There is a strong focus on responding to your child’s needs with sensitivity, consistency, and love, which aims to instill a sense of security, value, and belongingness in your child. Listed below are some core principles of attachment parenting that are typically seen in families that practice the approach. These principles emphasise the importance of utilising connection to create a secure attachment between parent and child. 

Co-sleeping/ Close Proximity Sleeping: 

Engaging in co-sleeping, or having a child sleep in a close proximity to their parents, is a common practice of attachment parenting. The key idea behind co-sleeping is that parents are better able to respond quickly to their children’s nighttime needs, creating a strong sense of safety and comfort. This is also said to foster a deeper connection and better sleep for both parent and child involved. 

Positive Discipline: 

Positive discipline is favoured instead of punitive responses in attachment parenting. It encourages a more gentle and positive disciplinary approach, that aims to guide children in understanding appropriate behaviour through communication, empathy, and consistency, instead of fear. Positive discipline emphasises the importance of teaching children how to self-regulate and provide empathy as they grow and develop. 

Responsive Parenting: 

An important element of attachment parenting is being attuned to the emotional needs of your child. When children cry or are in distress, parents are encouraged to respond with empathy and care to their child, attempting to provide reassurance and comfort. This approach helps children feel more heard and valued, which helps them create a safe and emotionally secure environment. 

Like with all parenting styles, there are some benefits and challenges associated with attachment parenting. Having completed my thesis on the experiences of fathers practicing attachment parenting, I have gathered first hand research that highlights the challenges and rewards fathers experience when working within an attachment parenting framework. The key positives identified included having a greater capacity to nurture their child’s emotional maturing and personality in an understanding way, and experiencing a stronger bond with their child, in particular, as they got older. On the other hand, fathers did also explore that they felt dads’ played a ‘more support-person role’ towards their partners when attachment parenting, which limited the benefits they felt they could reap. It was also reported that attachment parenting is a very consuming approach and that there is a subsequent loss of individuality due to the excess of time and energy spent parenting. 

Overall, attachment parenting emphasises the importance of building a strong, nurturing bond between the parent and the child, focusing on the need to be emotionally available, responsive, and present as a parent. While attachment parenting is not the right fit for all families, it can be beneficial to be aware of other approaches and principles that exist in the parenting world.